In conversation with esther

I’ve known Esther for over 10 years. She is one of the longest friends I have had.

We have both watched each other grow, develop, make mistakes, embrace challenges of life as well as our own friendship.

She is one of the most kind, gentle, cool and fun spirits out there. I admire her for looking after herself so well; she looks very young and hot! I also admire how brave she is by shedding old skin and embracing the new roads she has never walked, and holding a compass only in her heart. Esther has strong beliefs and is grounded in certain values which include honestly, talking out her truth, care for animals, dedication to music and commitment to bringing and sharing good in the world.

She was the very first person who showed me how to love your own space that you call home. Not only the physical place, but also your body. We met at the university and I had a privilege to live with her for a couple of years. I observed how she cooked, how she would make coffee in the mornings, how she would allow herself to be warm and lazy on a Saturday morning in her most comfy night gown. I observed how she manages her life, not only with respect to what she eats and how she looks after her body, but also how she manages her money and more importantly her relationships in her life.

What bonded us as friends were that we both were nomads. Life connected us because both of us have curiosity for life and travel. And above all, we share an incredible passion and love for people. Meeting them, talking to them, learning from them and also just being.

What also bonded is were the lessons that we had to face in life. Major ones being rejection, searching for a sense of belonging and finding our creative expressions – our project.

“Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Di you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones who need the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I’m sorry, and Help me? “

It’s beautiful how some friends join us for a lifetime. These are the friendships that we must treasure, invest in and look after, because sometimes I feel that they get more vulnerable as time progresses and if the care and attention is not placed on them, they can slip away and we can loose our sense of centre.

Today we spoke about accepting what is, how we are masters at avoiding pain, how it is ok to not be ok for a while and how we both wish to get a dog companion very soon.

Working on Issues Facing The World

I attended a talk by Bernie sanders yesterday at SXSW. He was passionately speaking about the importance of service. He was saying that it’s very important to identify the issues and problems that the majority of the society is facing and work on the most important one.

Some of these current issues in America are gun crime, climate change, women rights, obesity. In Ireland — housing crisis. In France — refugees etc etc.

What are the issues and problems my generation is facing?

  • Lack of real human connections (face to face or having a dinner together without computer). Belonging and being accepted as you are without judgement.
  • Mental health issues and distorted reality of self worth.
  • Taboo on loneliness vs being alone
  • Dating and new era of defining relationships.

Friendships — a beautiful feeling of being there for someone but also knowing someone has your back.


When people come to our life and mistreat us or do us harm, we have a choice. To either react and let our mind to take the auto pilot towards our pain, or we can view at the situation through the outsiders point of view and try to understand what is the situation here to show us or teach us about ourselves.

Many people have faced the pain of rejection that is so well covered by anger or even suppressed anger. Being with that anger and understanding where those feelings are coming from is the first step towards trying to release it.

Different people have difference methodologies when it comes to dealing with the pain. Some are more expressive then other. One that I would love to try out is to go to the woods and have a good scream. Or go to a room where i could smash plates. It must be a very powerful release. My sister recently shared with me Osho’s active meditation where you allow your body to take over and shake it all out for a bit. Different ways for different people, but whatever that method is — the important bit is not to shy away from it and go where the pain lives.

Next puzzle piece

Recently I have been seeing life through different perspective. Everything is taking time to unveil itself to me. Here are the gifts that my dear friend left me with:

She gifted me with a movie: Call me by your name.

She also helped me to allow myself to be OK with not being OK and not trying to move on from the pain of grief that i’m feeling. The time will come, but for now just letting it be.

A gift I gifted Esther with was A book on Wilderness. An invitation to try pottery class and spend a day at the zoo with the animals, helping. Hopefully this will help her to reach further and pay attention to the one that cries within.

It’s time for her to sleep and for me to wake up! Good Morning